Top U.S. Court Orders American Women to Wear Burkas

Following the Supreme Court’s Draft Ruling on Abortion, Another Body Blow to the Rights of Women – Just in Time for Mother’s Day

A Brief One by Doug Draper 

Posted May 9th, 2022 on Niagara At Large

I admit that it’s been a while since I’ve been to a doctor to have my ears syringed but, but I thought I just heard on a television I have on in the background that the U.S. Supreme Court has ordered all American women to wear burkas when they are out of their homes.

Sorry, I made the mistake of assuming that this was U.S. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and some of her female  members of her Democratic Party caucus covered in these burkas. But how are you supposed to tell? As it turns out,, no burkas  for American women yet,

The burka ruling comes just a week after a draft ruling was leaked showing that a majority of the mostly Republican-appointed Justices on the Supreme Court are moving to overturn Roe v. Wade, an almost 50 year old ruling from the Court that allows American women the right to have an abortion.

For those who don’t know what a burka is, it is a garment that covers a woman’s entire body and leaves her looking like some combination of a pup tent and a beehive keeper, which might make sense if we weren’t living through a time when bee populations are plummeting due to pesticide use, habitat loss and other climate-related causes.

On the upside – and I admit this is looking at it from a male point of view – women will no longer have to worry about how their hair looks or putting make up on, or running the danger of being late for an important appointment or a date with friends while fussing over what clothes to wear. Just throw that burka over yourself and your good to go.

I am looking over at the television screen again, and there is a group of women covered in those beehive costumes. I am guessing it is the U.S. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and some of her female Democratic caucus members talking about what they are going to try to do to kill the burka order

Oh no, wait a minute. I’m sorry. I just turned up the sound and that burka order didn’t come from the Supreme Court in the United States. It came from the Taliban in Afghanistan.

I’m always getting those two groups mix up.

And what an unfortunate mistake for  me to make on Mother’s Day.

To all of the mothers out there, I hope you are having or have had a happy Mother’s Day.

And if it is any consolation to American women and to any Canadian women who may fear that they are next, I doubt a burka order will become law in the U.S. for at least a couple more years, when Trump is back in the White House.

• Doug Draper, Niagara At Large

P.S. – I missed coming up with the usual spoof story for this year’s April Fool’s Day, so this was my belated stab at one. It’s not easy trying to be funny or even a bit silly in the state this world of ours is in today.

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