NAL terry nicholls,
By Terry Nicholls
In light of recent endorsements of the concept of introducing chain gangs to work on cleanup projects across the Niagara Region, I have to say that I believe Mr. Hudak, Mr. Nicholson and other Conservatives of like mind are not being forward-thinking enough.
James Carter, a singing chain gang worker from the 1950s, helped inspire the soundtrack for the Hollywood film 'O Brother, Where Art Thou?' Maybe we can find some of that kind of talent among or cons in Ontario.
What a boost it could be to the economy of Niagara if we were to take the next logical step and invite some of those Good ol’ Boys from, say, Alabama to come up here and teach our inmates some of those good ol’ negro work songs; imagine the potential for Corrections Tourism.
What worked well for Londoners with regard to Bedlam, and the lunatics incarcerated there, could surely be a model for a cheap and easy way to bring some entertainment to the people of this region who so desperately need to be able to look down on others, so clearly worse off than they are themselves.
Furthermore, since most of us will probably find ourselves in the correctional system at some time as the Conservatives push their Tough on Crime agenda by making just about anything they don’t like illegal (including dissent—which is being handled quite effectively already, but with room for improvement), there is huge potential for inter-facility choir competitions.
Once all of the prisons are privatized, the choirs and chain gangs could seek corporate sponsorship and proudly wear their logos as they labour so that tourists could vote on-line for the most uplifting, most moving, or most enthusiastic musical offerings. Combination Corrections/Golfing/Winery tours could well prove to be just the ticket for a certain subset of our population.
Terry Nicholls is a Niagara resident with a background in the Fine Arts who, in his own words, has “a keen interest in the absurd.”
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You sir, are my hero. Had I known you in real life I would give you a very mighty and awesome high five.
It’s good to see that even past the days of Swift, the art of being clever goes strong.
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Excellent commentary. Corporate chain gangs. Our chain gang is better than yours.
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Here, here! Great piece!
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We sold Mr Harper short, when it comes to sins of humour — i.e.: he DOES have one, even though it is rather narrow: he loves pulling, if not yanking, at his subjects’ chain — and did he ever, like a rattling snake, succeed!
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