By Vickie Fagan
Maybe it’s the time of year but lately, I’ve been commiserating with a lot of friends and colleagues on the state of their happiness. Relationship woes, financial hardships, identity crisis, emotional meltdowns, bad – hair days, you name it- there is a significant lack of the big happy out there.
There is a new catch phrase floating around that you may have heard. “ I need to get my happy back.” This is an all-encompassing cry for help for 90 percent of the population who generally can’t get through a week without dodging a variety of curve balls. Okay, so I heard it on the “Real Housewives of Atlanta”, sue me but if that group, of over-indulged southern belles has to work to find “happy” then I think it’s safe to say the rest of us are screwed.
In fact, I happened upon a friend and his family a couple weeks ago that were deliciously happy. His career has never been more interesting- he and his partner have recently married after many happy years together and are raising their 3 children in perfect harmony. They positively glow with good fortune. As I watched them from across the room, waiting for them to slip up- I couldn’t help but think, “ What the hell is that all about?”
Sure I was a bit jealous but more than that, it just seemed so foreign to me. Every time I see them, they exude flat out happiness. Good for them but its not the norm.
You see, if I had been at the table when the letters were being arranged to describe objects and emotions, I would have ruled against the word “Happy”.
The shape of it, the sound of it, the in your face giddiness of it. It’s too much for anyone to aspire to. Imagine a world of people wandering aimlessly with the insipid grin of happiness plastered on their faces 365 days a year. It’s ridiculous.
What I suggest is exchanging the word happy for – get ready for it—“ fleeting”
Fleeting is a fairly underused word that can easily be covered by occasionally. Occasionally can double-duty on that one without upsetting the apple cart.
“Fleeting”. Now doesn’t that more amply suggest how often that feeling formerly known as happiness lands at our doorstep?
We still have content –which is perfectly suitable and accurately describes what the average so-called happy person is really experiencing at the best of times.
So try it on for size. “ How are you these days, are you fleeting?”
“ No, though I am content because I just got a promotion. I was fleeting last month for about a week while I was on vacation in the Poconos.”
See, not so hard. And for those of you who still need a word to cover off the charts happy, there is always, “Miracle” or “Ecstatic”, two words that are so rarely called to duty that they live in constant fear of being ejected for being under-worked and over-paid.
Think of all the redundant therapy bills.
- I’m not happy
- When will I be happy?
- Why is she happy and not I?
- If I could only be happy, life would be perfect
- He is always so un-happy, that is why we never invite him to our barbeques.
- You know what would really make me happy?
All of that wasted expectation gone in a big cloud of smoke. Happy has sold us such a big fat bill of goods, it’s time to call it back to the table for re-assessment.
Imagine this:
“ My doctor says I have high-blood pressure and Jimmy is out of work again”
“ Oh, so things sound like they are moving along quite normally for you, I’m glad to hear it.”
“ Yeah, no biggy, just the same old. No complaints”
Followed by congratulatory slaps on the back for having survived another day without a visit from “Misery”.
So I guess that means we now have to deal with the phrase, “ Unhappy”
We of course have, “ Miserable”. Poor miserable, so over-worked its busting at the seams for a break. Still, we need a bridge word that covers that space between content and miserable. Something to cover things like:
- Irritated
- Sad
- Cranky
- Pissed off
- Frustrated
- Defeated
- Depressed
- Monday morning
My vote goes to woeful. Woeful has been living off the fat of the land for far too long.
It’s time to put woeful to work. Besides, it suggests a sophistication that unhappy could never live up to, once again due to the ridiculous balloon shaped letters that invalidate any suggestion of un-ease. Woeful, looks the part, walks the walk.
I am content to report that last week, I managed to side-step miserable though a few late night visits from woeful were unavoidable. I look forward to a few days off with the potential for moments of fleeting- that is if I don’t run into hysterical along the way.
Vickie Fagan is a resident of St.Catharines. She is the founder of Fagan Media Group which you can learn more about at www.faganmediagroup.com .
Niagara At Large 